Both Sides Now.

when you feel like you don't want to talk at all. when you just simply have no motivation what so ever to talk about problems. that are what I am feeling right now. I feel tired, weak and sad. I reached to the point, where I just can not be bothered to cry, to have that feeling of wanting to just express my emotion and to just shout out that I am sad and need someone to lean their shoulder to. well, I don't need that now, I really don't know why. Is it just my agony? is it just simply my selfish and egoistic ways of being just fine? what is fine anyway? no one is fine in this world, really. There will and always be a problem. You see, this is my agony writing right here, right now; laying down on my bed, with my PJs on, hair a messed, headache, loosing breath, blocked nose and listening to Harry Nilsson's Over The Rainbow (yes, I just watched You've Got Mail again) and now I'm listening to Joni Mitchell's Both Sides Now. wow. there you go.

have you listened to Joni Mitchell's Both Sides Now? its a lovely yet depressing song, really. It's about being confused at life, looking at love and life from both sides. from give and take yet it is just an illusion.

Tears and fears and feeling proud
To say "I love you" right out loud
Dreams and schemes and circus crowds
I've looked at life that way

Oh but now old friends are acting strange
They shake their heads, they say I've changed
Well something's lost but something's gained
In living every day

Yes, thank you Joni Mitchell. your song just basically summarised the whole problem. I really don't know life at all. everything that I have dreamed and expected of, are just an illusion. well, you probably confused. why did i get in here? this depressing song really just depressing.. you know what, it is personal.

okay, my headache is bugging me now.

thankyou for your attention.
written by anger, headache, tiredness, sadness and personality.

EJ