HELLO

Hello there :)

*Smile by Tony Bennett playing in the background*

it's 10:12 PM here in Perth, 28 degree precisely. My back is aching and my stomach is cramping, girls would know how this feels. anyway, I just had a great day today. Nothing's fancy, but with the cramp and back-ache, I had the strength to study and cooked! and I had a good conversation with my housemate as well as my sister. SO, for me personally, itwasagoodday INDEED. 

lately I have been feeling down, so with the new energy and mind, I become more what I exactly am supposed to be and that is...... to be POSITIVE! 

if I could show you how my baggy black undereyes look like right now, I would not... it's just too beautiful to show. 

Anyway, this stomach cramp is ebfiebuqflbe painful, by the way... it's been the whole webfwieu day......

I NEED FOOD, NOW.. please, baby? :)

sometimes when i'm having my period cramp and out of breath, i feel like as if i'm pregnant. is that wrong? lol.

Me gusta,

Halaman Kosong.

halaman kosong.

Halaman yang tunggu untuk di warnai oleh kata kata yang jujur, murni dan berantakan. dia, manusia biasa yang bermimpi seakan-akan dia seorang penulis yang mempunyai watak, imajinasi, kreativitas dan pikiran yang melebihi planet Mars. Dia, yang tidak tau apa yang dia tulis atau fikir. Beharap, berharap dia bisa menulis dengan kata-kata yang indah, seperti, sebekas cahaya? berbijak? berkerut-kerut?

Dia menulis, karena menulis melupakan realita. melupakan gangguan, halauan, dan kesedihan? Kesedihan atas sesuatu yang dia anggap seperti sebutir sisa kue yang jatuh ke lantai, sangat amat kecil tetapi sangat amat menyebalkan. Bagaimana sebutir kecil sisa kue, yang hampir tidak kelihatan, bisa membuat kebahagaian terhambat? Ya, sebutir kecil sisa kue itu adalah sangat berhaga untuk si kecil semut hitam yang menunggu berkat dari Yang Maha Kuasa untuk jatuh dari langit. Sebutir kecil sisa kue itu akan di bawa oleh si kecil semut hitam, yang melebihi dari berat badan nya, mungkin? dengan rasa bangga dan hirang. Tetapi, tetapi sebutir kecil sisa kue yang jatuh di lantai, membuat pikiran kita gila. Gila akan masa depan. Berpikir, berpikir bahwa semut-semut hitam akan berkerumun dan membunuh kita. Pikiran itu sebuah ironi, bukan? Ya, pikiran bisa membuat kita cerdas, melihat sesuatu dari dua sisi. Pikiran bisa membuat kita gila. Terlalu banyak berpikir, terlalu banyak rahasia yang kita simpan. Tetapi, tetapi kenapa begitu? dia berharap dia bisa mengerti.

Begitulah dengan kesedihan dan masalah masa kini, masalah kecil seperti sebutir kecil sisa kue itu, seakan-akan dunia kita runtuh, seakan-akan sebuah ombak besar akan membunuh kita. Bangun, bangun dari pikiran yang sempit.

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Merri Kurisumasu!

its almost christmas! or as the Japanese use to say Kurisumasu. well, some people would be spending Christmas with their family, staying over with the cousins that we never thought that we have, or celebrating christmas with their partner in Alaska, enjoying the Mt.Alps scenery with a glass of champagne in the hot springs, or celebrating Christmas alone with lots of papers and works to catch up to? please don't do that, whoever you are that choose to stay in the office on christmas day, you don't deserve that on a Christmas day! or maybe you just don't celebrate christmas at all?

Well i'll be spending christmas in Bangkok...... I dont know why, I found it just plain weird and awkward? to spend Christmas in Bangkok? or maybe it's just me with my idea of celebrating christmas in a snowy morning/night with the fire place turned on, while enjoying a cup of hot choco? with your family and with your family's another family would sit around the christmas tree with present boxes underneath, while Nat King Cole sings The Christmas Song. yeah.... 

However, celebrating christmas in Bangkok is not that weird.. in fact, it's not weird at all. Ha! it's the most common thing to do. for the people that have been living in winter season for decades, super negative temp that is. and for the people that is lonely on christmas and need "someone" to company them.. in bed.  Don't judge! Well, I'll make sure to share it in the blog on How do I spend my christmas in bangkok, 2013.... hope it would be as exciting as the snowy morning/night with whatever is written above! 

So, before I end this weird Christmas related post. I would offer a gratitude to the simple or big things that makes me happy and just thankful, for this year.

1. Lord Jesus. I am so thankful to have an awesome, amazing, loving, humble Lord Jesus. If I could describe tp you how good His heart is, how His plans for you are just perfect, how His words and presence soothe your heart, how His time is always been so perfect, how He knows you more that you know yourself and How simply humble and merciful He is; I would love to share it to you. But the feelings to be able to experience it are thousands more amazingly beautiful. so thankyou, Father. 

2. Papa & Mama. I believe that every parents are the best, they are the best God's given people to look and care for us. every children would say that "my parents are the best" and it's true. I am so thankful to have an awesome supportive parents that are just... awesome. They are the most coolest most wonderful people on earth. I just love them with all of my heart. We both know that hey are there for us and they worked so hard for our own sake. isn't it just amazing? Thankyou papa, thankyou mama.

3. My sister. She is the most bravest, supportive, beautiful and caring person that you could ever meet. She's not just a sister but she's my best friend. She is the whole package, the one that i could run to when my world seems shattered down in pieces. The one that reminds me when I'm about to fall again. The one who loves God and her parents. The one who never willingly to give up and the one who loves me and accept me for who I am. thankyou kris :)

4. My bestfriends. Whoever you are, that spend nights over nights crying together and laughing together over silly things. Whoever you are that makes me laugh in Skype when I'm sad, when I'm on my PMS... Whoever you are that pray together in her room, whoever you are that hug me when I went straight to her room and cry... whoever you are that gossips about silly stuffs in her room, whoever you are that just remind me how God accepts me for who I am.. You, whoever you are, you are awesome and amazing to me, so thankyou for that. 

5. My Mbak and mbok. well obviously, they couldn't see this but just to share it with you and probably to remind you guys that read this? that these people are amazing. They work for you for their whole life, they leave their love ones, their children and family and friends, to work for us; to wake up at 4 in the morning, to open the curtain, mop the floors and clean your clothes. However, we forgot about them, we think them as if they are unimportant. they are important, well to me that is. I would never to treat them badly or to hurt their feelings, to be able to left their family behind is enough already and i guess to make them to feel like they are worthy is one of the many things we could do for them :) so terimakasih mbak dan mbok!

6. Organisations that offer aids, foods, shelters, protection, health service and many more to people in needs. Obviously they can't see this, but without them (and the help of Lord Jesus), what would they be? their dedication and work and passion are just something to be proud of and to be thank for. 

7. My close one. I am grateful for the attention and care that this person have done to me personally. I guess, I adore and proud of this person achievements and of his hard work. He is the most hard working person I have ever met. He is always thankful to the things that he has, he always see the good sides of everything. I dont know that he realize this but he has a good and a loving heart toward his family and bestfriends. Thankyou for that, I hope that good loving hearts would never fade away, and I hope that he able to open his heart to miracles and grace. 


there's alot more to be thankful for, but that woould take more than these.. and I don't have the time for that! well I have, I should have.. 

Anyway, Thankyou for YOU that read this and I would recommend you to write a list of what you thank for, I can assure you 100% that this works like a time machine, it brings back the memories and more importantly, to remind you that you are loved and taken care of. 

So adios amigos, I am going to bed, it is 1:24 in the morning on Christmas eve, alone... while evryones sleeping. okay, alright, goodbye, see you soon?

:) Hugs!
EJ.

    

Both Sides Now.

when you feel like you don't want to talk at all. when you just simply have no motivation what so ever to talk about problems. that are what I am feeling right now. I feel tired, weak and sad. I reached to the point, where I just can not be bothered to cry, to have that feeling of wanting to just express my emotion and to just shout out that I am sad and need someone to lean their shoulder to. well, I don't need that now, I really don't know why. Is it just my agony? is it just simply my selfish and egoistic ways of being just fine? what is fine anyway? no one is fine in this world, really. There will and always be a problem. You see, this is my agony writing right here, right now; laying down on my bed, with my PJs on, hair a messed, headache, loosing breath, blocked nose and listening to Harry Nilsson's Over The Rainbow (yes, I just watched You've Got Mail again) and now I'm listening to Joni Mitchell's Both Sides Now. wow. there you go.

have you listened to Joni Mitchell's Both Sides Now? its a lovely yet depressing song, really. It's about being confused at life, looking at love and life from both sides. from give and take yet it is just an illusion.

Tears and fears and feeling proud
To say "I love you" right out loud
Dreams and schemes and circus crowds
I've looked at life that way

Oh but now old friends are acting strange
They shake their heads, they say I've changed
Well something's lost but something's gained
In living every day

Yes, thank you Joni Mitchell. your song just basically summarised the whole problem. I really don't know life at all. everything that I have dreamed and expected of, are just an illusion. well, you probably confused. why did i get in here? this depressing song really just depressing.. you know what, it is personal.

okay, my headache is bugging me now.

thankyou for your attention.
written by anger, headache, tiredness, sadness and personality.

EJ

Back Again.

Hello hello :)

I'm starting on my blog again, after decades and decades in abandoning this dusty old blog of mine. What encourage me to go back and sweep off the dusty and emptiness of this blog is that because I just watched a movie. Yes, a good one, and yes, I've talked about this movie in my post before. I mean, how can you just not get bored of this movie? I can't. The more I watch it, the more I grow into it. well, maybe if I watched it too much, it would be abit boring, i guess? I hope not, I don't want to get bored of this wonderful movie. Oh, I got carried away, I haven't even mention the movie's name, It's You've Got Mail.

I'm just simply happy watching that movie, I feel like I want to do many things, I want to decorate my room, I want to read more books, I want to have my own bookshop, or I want to write more maybe? I just don't know why I got so happy and so inspired. Is it my chick-flick, romantic, girly side that made me like this? or maybe it's just the fact that I am so girly, feminine, over sensitive and emotional kind of girl? oh, the heck. I just love this movie. I want to wear the clothes that Meg wore in that movie, so simple and so comfortable. you don't have to think what anybody think of what u are wearing. I want to have her passion so badly, she has that big big passion in her bookstore, and books about children, I want to have that passion too.

Well, let me tell you what my sort of passion is, my passion is to be in NYC someday, to be in the Central Park, walking around there when it's Fall. Getting hot-dog around the street, going to the Farmer's Market to get flowers and fruits, to watch the broadway, to be in rush while getting a tea or a coffee and a bagel, because you don't want to be late for work, to spend my christmas in NYC!

That's all for tonight, have a lovely day to everyone who has the time to read this so-called-random post.

EJ

Movie slash foods.

Have you guys watch Julie and Julia yet? I just watched it an hour ago. I've been a movie freaks lately, i don't know what's going through on my mind but all i can think about is 'what to watch next!'. I am very specific in what kind of movie I should watch, because i do not want to waste my time on type of movie that spin and twist your head as if you are working on your math algebra homework. And i have no interest on stupid, dodgy movie, if you know what i mean; yes, a movie that shows nothing but trash words, blood and boobs or banana (seriously i can do better than banana, but i can't think any...)

Oh yes, Julie and Julia! I am terribly sorry for the blabbers. Julie and Julia is a 2009 movie based on a true story, and I suggest you to grab any kind of foods you have while you are watching it, because i can assure you that this movie shows mouth-watering french delicate foods. I love when Julie toasted the Italian bread on the pan, the gold-brown coloured, the crispy looking, and half-burned texture of the bread really tempt me. It was a Bruschetta with tomato basil, an Italian dish. She chopped the ripe tomato gorgeously for her Bruschetta, I almost shed a tear of joy as I watched it while swallowing my saliva inside my throat that cries for that luscious piece of bread with marinated tomato on top. The feeling grows again as I watched Julie and Eric, her husband, took a bite of the Bruschetta. They ate it so perfectly and so voraciously that I hurriedly went to the kitchen and grab any kind of foods that I can bite and eat so I won't passed out from swallowing to much of saliva.

Gorgeous, huh?

As I watched the movie, I realized that both Julie and Julia have this passion that I am jealous of. I want that. I want that passionate feeling for something that you really enjoy and love doing it. They both love cooking so much and terribly good doing it that made me so... surprisingly sad. Because I don't have that passion, I never know what exactly is. But I do have it, I'm 100 percents sure that I have that passion for something, but it is somehow hidden inside of me that I have to dig in to get that gold of mine. I have to dig and dig more deeper. What if my passion is not what i am expecting to? eating perhaps, God I hope not.

I am currently watching another of Meryl Streep's latest film called It's Complicated. Apparently, in this movie she is a cook as well! Anyway, That is it for my Afternoon slash Evening chatty session for today. I'm going back to watch; it's funny, that I suddenly thought of posting a new writing while watching It's Complicated and it is barely half-way through the movie! I am happy that I am back blogging again and I have a lot of ideas and topics going on my mind that I want to write and share about it on this dusty blog! so stay tune, whoever you are that read this blog...

Bon appétit,
Au revoir!